dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
