They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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