Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
