I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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