I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
