ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
