Your dad touched me again.
you traded sex for a burrito?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
