Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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