also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
