butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
