Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
