You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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