Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
