yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
