party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
