Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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