You work out of a Hotel?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
