Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
