Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
