Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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