You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
