I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize