I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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