i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
