I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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