They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
