You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
