you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
