i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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