Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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