If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
