I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Boobs are out for the taking
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
