Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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