We won't sleep together?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She announced her abortion via fbk
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
