And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
