he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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