ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't deserve a penis
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
