that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
