So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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