Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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