one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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