so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
