i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
