Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
