why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
