we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
