I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
