we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
BRING THE BAGELS
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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