I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
