NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
