I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
