So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
