Nicole vs. Life
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
