people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
