with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
