I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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