drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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