Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
