last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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