No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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