I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
