Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
