Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
