I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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