ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
