I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
