I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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