And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize