I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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