i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How's work?
Spinning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
