Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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