stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
