she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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